“Find Me”: Red-shouldered Hawks

Yesterday I told God, “I don’t know who You are anymore. If You want me to stay in this, You’re going to have to find me.” Well, that doesn’t sound like the words of a seeker, does it? And predictably, years of church teaching rose up in rebellion. I also felt that I should not be feeling like this. Had I not gotten the message from what I’d learned after my darling angel cat Sophie passed away? Apparently not.

Like so many other people, I’m finishing up being off from work for the holidays. Ah, the holidays. Something in me usually just shuts off until they are over. This year, I got to feel everything. All the bad stuff. Why? Who knows. Maybe it was the fact that I was already feeling crushed under the weight of some things happening at work. Maybe it was being sick at the beginning of December. Almost certainly it was because I couldn’t go birding – one of the few things this year that has kept me sane. Sane and connected to something of God even if nothing else has made much sense.

The days here in North Carolina were full of rain, dead white grayish sky, more rain, more dead white grayish sky. Although I had almost 2 weeks off from work and although I tried to bird a couple times, everything seemed like a wearisome battle. The weather finally cleared this weekend. I was looking forward to getting a few days of birding in before Monday. Well, it turned out that both days this weekend there were races scheduled at Bond Park. Today, the park was actually closed off to everyone except for race participants. Yes, I could have gone elsewhere, but I didn’t have the energy to deal with unfamiliar trails or slog through Mason Farm, etc.

I returned to my apartment and decided to walk around and see what birds were around. I had gotten through about ¾ of the grounds when a Red-shouldered Hawk flew in and landed on top of pine tree. Well, although I have heard RSHA calls before while sitting in my apartment, I have not seen them. True to RSHA behavior, this hawk soon began calling out loudly. They are noisy creatures. After a minute or two, a second hawk flew in. Clearly, this one was the male as he was smaller. The hawks stayed in the pine trees for about 5 minutes and then went off together – to a tree closer to my apartment. I was incredulous. I’ve lived in this complex for almost 10 years and have NEVER seen any kind of hawks in either of these sets of trees.

DSCN5877 Female RSHA

Female RSHA

DSCN5897 Female RSHA Calling Male

Female RSHA calling male. She says, “NOW”!

DSCN5901 Male RSHA Landing

And the male arrives…

DSCN5905 Mrs and Mr RSHA

Mrs. and Mr. RSHA

DSCN6000 Mrs and Mr RSHA

Mrs. and Mr. RSHA in 2nd Set of Trees

After the pair had left and I went inside to upload the photos for editing, I finally realized what just happened. I don’t know what you believe about God. All I know is that I told God yesterday that He would have to find me.

15 Comments

  1. Love this amen to your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lynnda6 says:

    Nature speaks. Beautiful photos.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mary says:

    I love this, thank you for the beautiful thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great pictures and story told.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Alice Witt says:

    We may have given up on Him, but He certainly hasn’t given up on us.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. CrabtowneMd says:

    Amen Elly; and today you had some sun. Hoping your return to work reveals solutions for some of the challenges there . May sunny skies and hawk sightings fill your week.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Deb says:

    Whoa. A powerful message for you; thank you for sharing with us. I’ve come to believe that just when we need a reason to believe, it comes to us on wings. I’m so glad for you, and I hope that it signals a positive start for 2016.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chris LBbonne says:

      Look like God knew just what Elly hunters to send out to find you. May the joy and wonder of this New Year blessing remain with you throughout the year.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Donna Schulz says:

    For His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Jane Keutzer (jebbynurse) says:

    How often do we ask for a “sign” to be sent? It is truly a blessing when we receive one! I enjoyed reading about how you find hope and beauty in nature. His presence is always near if only we look! the best to you in 2016, Elly!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. shirley wendell says:

    beautiful pictures. Those birds showed up just for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. twohawksnyc says:

    Wow, what a beautiful post. I could not help reflecting on the randomness of a pair of hawks building a nest on an A/C across the st from our home on Ave A! I had lost my Mom, and I had fallen into a melancholic state. But It was these hawks building, incubating, rearing, and caring for their young that I watched almost every second of every day. It was so profound, so new, so unexpected I felt my mom was near..

    Liked by 1 person

    • elly k says:

      Oh my, I had no idea of the “story” of the hawks in your neighborhood. I am so sorry about your mom. But how wonderful about the hawks! . We need to set you up with a live hawk cam, lol – but even without that, I love your pictures and look forward to seeing this season’s!

      Like

  12. elly k says:

    Thank you to all of you for your kind and wonderful comments. I appreciate them so much and wish you all the very best of life, love, and health for 2016! ♥

    Like

  13. Bob Tarte says:

    Gorgeous photos and a very moving essay. I feel the same way about birds. They are mysterious messengers. Sometimes they’re all I seem to need.

    Liked by 1 person

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